I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
