I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
