shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
