I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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