You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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