We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
