this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize