what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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