Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
