WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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