guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
