Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
