No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
