it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
