everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
