when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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