dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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