God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
