i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
