i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
