yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
