glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
