I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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