Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
