Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
