U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
