Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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