i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
