Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
