Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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