it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
