he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
His nipple licking is glorious
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