carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
