your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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