dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
