my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
