Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
