Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
