I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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