Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
