matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
