he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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