u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize