I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Mom said you looked used
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
