I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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