it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
