That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
