it glows. i had to have it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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