She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
