After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
