i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
